December 15, 2021

Damon Albarn Revives Blur Songs On Piano

Damon Albarn is undoubtedly having a musical revival in 2021- and this time's he's back in his full glory with his 2021-2022 Piano Tour. The singer, who has spent lockdown writing songs and releasing a new solo album 'The Nearer the Fountain, More Pure The Stream Flows', has recently been seen on tour in England and just played at the Union Chapel, London, on 15th December 2021. 

However, fans will be delighted to know that Damon's new tour isn't just about promoting his new solo album. He also revives classic Blur and Gorillaz tracks by playing them with a piano band- featuring one bassist, two violinists and one cello player, an ensemble which accompanied him throughout his shows. Blurballs will review his Union Chapel performance exclusively, but we want to share some of his latest piano covers below for your enjoyment. 

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1. No Distance Left To Run


2. Beetlebum


3. The Universal


4. For Tomorrow


Damon Albarn's latest Union Chapel show in London features piano versions of 'Girls and Boys', 'El Manana', 'End of a Century', 'For Tomorrow' and more. It looks like fans are in for a treat when they go and see Damon's latest tour. If you haven't booked tickets yet, we highly recommend you check out his tour now.

If you have any footages from his latest tour that you'd like us to post, please email our team! 


October 30, 2021

Damon Albarn's New Solo Album Is Out

Damon Albarn's long-awaited solo album may just be the hottest thing in 2021, and it's finally out for pre-order today. The album, titled The Nearer The Fountain, More Pure The Stream Flows, is finally available for fans to order before it's official launch on 21st November 2021. 

The Nearer The Fountain, More Pure The Stream Flows was originally not intended to be produced as an album, but as an orchestral piece inspired by the landscapes of Iceland. During the COVID-19 pandemic, Damon Albarn returned to Iceland where he found new musical inspiration and recorded this 10-track album which explores the themes of loss, fragility and emergence. The album is essentially a  story of Damon Albarn's journey with music, discovering Iceland and the loss of previous identities. 

A new track, titled "Royal Morning Blue", was released today via Youtube and is available for streaming online. You can listen to it below. 

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TRACK LISTING 
  1. The Nearer The Fountain, More Pure The Stream Flows 
  2. The Cormorant 
  3. Royal Morning Blue 
  4. Combustion 
  5. Daft Wader 
  6. Darkness To Light Esja 
  7. The Tower Of Montevideo 
  8. Giraffe Trumpet Sea 
  9. Polaris 
  10. Particles
Pre-order the album HERE


October 21, 2021

Damon Albarn Releases New Song 'The Tower of Montevideo'

Damon Albarn has released a brand new track. Titled ‘The Tower Of Montevideo’, it’s the latest to be lifted from his new solo album ‘The Nearer The Fountain, More Pure The Stream Flows’, which is set to arrive on 12th November 2021. You can check out the track now via a live video directed by Transgressive Records founder Toby L.

Speaking to NME ahead of the album’s release, Albarn expounded on how it was conceptualised as a way to lift him out of the “storms” of the outside world and the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. “I just felt like the beginning of this year was so grim and I had to do something to lift me out of those, I wouldn’t call doldrums, but storms – those terrible north wind storms that you get down by the sea in Devon sometimes,” he explained.

Damon Albarn is set to perform in a new tour next February for a run that includes two nights at London’s Barbican Hall.

The singer recently a cryptic message: "At the end of the world, Stay by my side" while posting a photo of himself playing the piano over the sunset. 

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August 2, 2021

Damon Albarn debutes new song Polaris

Damon Albarn has released “Polaris,” the lead single from his upcoming solo album The Nearer the Fountain, More Pure the Stream Flows, out November 12th via Transgressive Records. The song arrived on Tuesday with an accompanying live performance video featuring Albarn on piano as he leads his band and a string quartet through the orchestral rock track. 

The “Polaris” clip is the first in a series of performance videos from Albarn titled Sublime Boulevards – Performance Films. Directed by Transgressive Records founder Toby L and shot in black and white, the video series will feature selections from The Nearer the Fountain, More Pure the Stream Flows, and will be premiered in stages leading up to the album’s release date. 

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Albarn originally intended for his new album to be an orchestral piece inspired by the landscapes of Iceland. However, during the Covid-19 lockdown of 2020, he began to develop the 11 tracks further into narrative pop songs. 

The hybrid sound can be heard on the album’s title track, which Albarn previewed last month. The Nearer the Fountain, More Pure the Stream Flows takes its title from the poem “Love and Memory” by John Clare and marks Albarn’s first solo LP since 2014’s Everyday Robots.

Along with a digital release, Albarn is prepping a limited-edition color vinyl version of The Nearer the Fountain, More Pure the Stream Flows, as well as versions on CD and cassette. There will also be a deluxe version packaged in a casebound book with additional photography, original scanned lyrics, original artwork, a copy of the album pressed on white vinyl, and a bonus seven-inch featuring an exclusive song from the recording sessions.

Watch the video below to see the full performance.

 

Damon Albarn- Polaris (Lyrics)

Polaris
If you get blown off course
In filling in the parts of your life that have disappeared
Medicating
Quick step reflections
In the dark mirrors of our lives
Polaris
Watching the embers fall
On to sublime boulevards
Medicating
Joining the saline to start
The inspection of the lines
See the birds
They have been taken by the wind
They are not together now
They will have to wait until tomorrow
To see each other again
Polaris, Polaris
Polaris, Polaris
See the birds
They have been taken by the wind
They are not together now
They will have to wait until tomorrow
To see each other again
We sprawl out among the gutters
In the shadow of the world
I miss the alarm, the music therein
And so back to the visions
All around us
When you will be
Gone
Polaris, Polaris
Polaris, Polaris



July 30, 2021

Damon Albarn on his Manchester Comeback

Blur and Gorillaz frontman Damon Albarn has described his return to the stage as "kind of like getting back into a dating game". 

Albarn performed as part of the Manchester International Festival 2 weeks ago for the first time since the start of the coronavirus pandemic. Speaking at Manchester Central, he said: "These places need to be alive and if it's OK for Wembley to have 60,000 people, then it's definitely alright for this to have 10,000 people."

Watch a video below for an interview before his Manchester performance. 


July 21, 2021

How To Clean While Listening to Blur Music- LeJoy Robot Vacuum Cleaner Review

With the amount of time spent at home listening to Blur music, my house is getting pretty dirty and messy. Working from home isn't easy, but today I want to share a robot vacuum cleaner that I used to speed up my cleaning process.

LeJoy is a new brand selling robot vacuum cleaners, something that I've always wanted to try. Seriously, vacuuming takes me a long time and these gadgets have been around for years. I've never quite managed to save up enough to buy one, but this LD20 Robot Vacuum Cleaner is affordable (only around 290 GBP on Amazon) and shipping only took a day for Prime members.

This is my honest review of the robot vacuum cleaner, which came in a compact, beautiful box. Take a look below! 

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For starters, this vacuum cleaner is ultra quiet. It enables me to listen to Damon Albarn singing while it cleans- yes it's that quiet. My normal vacuum cleaner was cheap and inefficient, and was so loud that it hurts my ears. This little device saved me from so much time! In terms of the power, the vacuum cleaner is strong enough to suck up all the dust from my carpets, and the hairs lying around. The rotating brushes picks up small pieces of dirt and does really well with cleaning crumbs and little bits of food on the floor.

This cleaner doubles up as a mop too, so it's fantastic if you have hard floors. Living in the UK means that there are lots of dust and dirt around the air, especially being in a city- vacuuming is such a chore. Overall, I'd rate this cleaner a 9/10 and would recommend it as an addition to any house. Note that it can't clean the whole house by itself as it's quite a compact package, so you'd probably add it to a cleaning routine rather than use it to replace your existing vacuum. 

Use FLOW15 for 15% off Lejoy! 

Note: this is a sponsored post. Blurballs may have received compensation for the review but all opinions are completely honest and genuine. 



July 8, 2021

Graham Coxon Revisits Modern Life Is Rubbish in 2021

Watch Graham Coxon talk about his love for Modern Life is Rubbish in a little snippet of nostalgia! Hope you Blur fans enjoy this gem of a video!  


July 1, 2021

Damon Albarn performs Aries Live

 Old news, but gold news nonetheless. Watch Damon Albarn perform "Aries" in one of his best live performances in a long time.


Interview with Veikko from Veikko's Blur Page - vblurpage.com

For long-time fans of Blur, we all know that there has been a host of Blur fan sites that have come and go over the last 10-12 years since the Internet began to bloom. Some pages have stayed (like this one!) but most Blur fan sites have disappeared off the internet. We are fortunate to talk to the founders of one of the biggest Blur fan sites in existence- Veikko's Blur Page

Founded by Veikko, the Blur site is regularly updated with Blur news plus the band's latest musical offerings and discography. The best part of the site is that it hosts a Blur forum where fans can gather and share their love of the band. Some fans may remember that the official Blur website used to contain a discussion forum which was shut down after Blur announced their comeback a few years ago. 

Read on for an exclusive interview with Veikko, who talks about his love for Blur and what inspires him to run one of the biggest Blur fan sites out there. 

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1) How did you get into Blur? 

I first saw the videos of "Girls & Boys" and "Country House" on MTV, and a few months later my mum bought me The Great Escape album as a Christmas present. I got hooked to the album's diverse music style and started to explore the band's back catalogue with a wide smile.

2) Name your 3 favourite Blur songs and why! 

1. The Universal - a perfect song with a great arrangement. 

2. Tender - another beautiful classic. 

3. Beetlebum - a magical and brave tune. Love the guitar work!

3) How do you think the Blur fans community has changed over the years? 

I don't think it has changed at all, and that's a good thing! 

4) What inspires you to keep running VBlurPage? 

New releases and live shows from Blur and related artists like Gorillaz, feedback and support from fans, contributions (pictures, setlists etc.) that I can add to my site.

I want to say huge thanks to Moritz, Ewa, Diego and Vítek for providing me with a huge amount of material over the last few years. 

5) How do you encourage people to use your forums and what kind of blur fans are there? 

I try my best to keep the forums a nice and safe place for discussion. Forums may be out of fashion, but I think they are still the best platform to have discussions. It helps that most of the people on my board are very nice and moderation is very rarely needed. 

6) What do you think Blur will do in the future? 

My guess is that they will do a few live shows in 2022 or 2023. 

7) What do you think Blur fan sites should focus more on? 

There are no bosses in this hobby, so just do what you enjoy to do! :)

VBlurpage: http://www.vblurpage.com


June 18, 2021

Damon Albarn Confirms New Solo Album in 2021

Breaking news- Damon Albarn has announced that he has signed a record deal with Transgressive Records for a second solo album to be released in 2021 or 2022. The last time Damon has made a solo album was in 2014 when he released the critically acclaimed album titled "Everyday Robots".

“Damon has recently put the finishing touches to his much-anticipated, second solo album, full details for which will be released soon,” Transgressive announced recently on their social media outlets. 

The indie label was initially founded by Tim Dellow and Toby L in 2004 and produces records for artists such as Arlo Parks, Alvvays, Foals and Johnny Flynn.

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According to Transgressive: “We have had the great pleasure of collaborating with Damon over the years via the incredible Africa Express project, which has introduced many gifted artists to the Transgressive world. His voracious passion for music and exploration knows no bounds and repeatedly defies convention or categorisation, whilst always remaining utterly inviting and intoxicating throughout. 

“Truly prolific, his latest solo work is amongst the finest of his career. We really couldn’t be more honoured to welcome Damon and his phenomenal team at Eleven Management into the Transgressive family, with an ongoing focus to break new ground and subvert expectations in a way that only he can.”

Damon is also scheduled to play at Edinburgh International Festival alongside the likes of Laura Mvula, Caribou and The Snuts in August 2021. 

It looks like this is the beginning of a new era for the musician and undoubtedly, Damon Albarn fans will be looking forward to lots more news to come. 

Back in 2012, Damon announced that he was releasing his first solo album of his career. titled Everyday Robots The album was made available via online streaming to the public. You can listen to the album in full below. 


Stay tuned for more and do subscribe to Blurball's Facebook page to get the latest news and updates on all things Damon Albarn, Graham Coxon, Blur and Gorillaz. 


June 17, 2021

The Real Reason Why Damon Albarn turned down Prince

Rumour has it, Damon Albarn turned down a meeting with Prince because of his love of cigarettes and drinking. In an interview from 2018, Damon told the interviewer that he was invited to go an play with Prince at the Purple One’s studio at Paisley Park, but he turned down the invitation after being informed that Prince didn’t want people smoking in his studio. 

Damon said: “I was having a drink and a fag—I don’t actually smoke anymore, knocked that one on the head—but if you can’t be who you... If I’ve invited someone to my studio, they’re my guest, and there aren’t any conditions like that.”

“Anyway, it’s like, I can have a cigarette outside if I needed it—I’d be fucking excited, right? Why the fuck would I not want to fucking go mad if I’m with Prince? I’d rather not do it and not get pissed off with the whole thing. It’s just one of those ‘could have been’... I’ve got a few of those.”

Damon is set to perform on stage in Glastonbury Festival in England on the 22nd May, as well as in the O2 London for his Gorillaz concert in August of the same year. 

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Listen to Damon talk about his experience below! 


June 9, 2021

Damon Albarn On Playing To Cows At Glastonbury 2021

 Damon Albarn recently spoke out about playing to the "cows not the crowds" at this year's Glastonbury 2021. Damon was recently featured on ITV News talking about Brexit, Covid and playing at this year's live streaming event during Glastonbury 2021.

In response to what it was like playing to the cows instead of crowds, Damon responded that he quite "liked" playing to the cows. Dressed in a beanie cap, sunglasses and golden necklace, the singer gave a good-natured interview to the media and also discussed the challenges facing musicians during the pandemic outbreak. 

Damon also talked about Brexit. He talked about how a lack of travel and ties to Europe is hurting musicians' ability to travel to play. He concluded that if we can "meditate" on these serious issues during these tough times, then people can move forward and continue to create good music. 

On streaming culture, Damon said that the deals between the industry and artists has always been "outrageous" and "unbalanced". Damon empathised with how difficult it must be to have a livelihood when main source of income for musicians have evaporated. 

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Watch the full interview below. 


June 5, 2021

Best Damon Albarn Quotes Of All Time

Damon Albarn has always had a way with words. He has said so many memorable things over his musical career. Here are some of the highlights from the man himself. 

1. "I must admit that I always found it incredibly easy to get off with girls. When you’re a teenager, picking up girls is a bit like getting run over by a large vehicle. You see a juggernaut approaching and you have to know when to throw yourself under it. I always seemed to know when to throw myself on the floor and get what I wanted." (on getting girls)

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2. "I don’t feel anything with a passion. I’m not a very passionate bloke. I can’t bring myself to actually believe in passion." (on his interests)

3. "Life is very different in my home. My status is extremely different. I’m not taken very seriously, in a good way. I walk around in my pants, which my daughter finds highly embarrassing. I’m just a normal, down-to-earth dad." (on fatherhood)

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4."I’m actually really passionate about puppets. I had these puppets made of me when I was in Jakarta. I originally wanted to use them in a video for a song on the album, 'Hollow Ponds', which has a strong dateline of me growing up. So now I’ve got these ten puppets of me at home – and one of Barack Obama. I may turn it into a puppet show for kids. I love puppets." (on his passions)

5."That’s just been lost this year. I think that, even though we’re not necessarily aware of it at the time, we all evolve when something like this happens." (on Covid lockdowns)

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6."When you’re in an indie band it’s like a marriage, you know? You’re married to everything about it. I was just at the front being a fucking knobhead frontman for quite a long period of time." (on Blur)

7."I was always accused of being a bit of a dilettante back in the day. I never really saw it like that. I was just interested in lots of different things, and I wanted to see how I could somehow articulate my own thing through other things. No one actually comes up with something that reinvents music." (on music)

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8."Rock is the easy option. You can write mediocre songs, mumble words, put a lot of attitude into it and be successful. But pop is so much more of an expose. If 'Girls and Boys hadn't had something to say and the sounds that we used hadn't been thought through, it would have been embarrassing." (on writing pop songs)

9. "I don't think anybody understood the irony. I seriously doubt it. Modern Life Is Rubbish [1993] and Parklife [1994] were angry records. The Great Escape [1995, number one in the UK, and Blur's biggest-selling album worldwide to date] was a rather cynical album, everything seemed to be going down hill, and I was cynical, too cynical." (on his albums)

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10. "We were together for eight years. Eight years are a long time, a very long time. Especially if the relationship is as public as our relationship was. I went through a phase where I thought I've got to justify my feelings, everything I invested in that relationship. As a musician usually music is your way out." (on his ex-girlfriend Justine Frischmann)


May 30, 2021

Gorillaz to play in the O2 London in August 2021- Buy Tickets Now

Head's up for all Gorillaz fans out there. Gorillaz the biggest virtual band in the world is set to play one of the biggest shows ever in The O2 in London on 11th August 2021

Gorillaz has embarked on a tour to promote their latest offering Song Machine: Season One - Strange Timez – one of their most well-received albums that has debuted online in 2020. 

In reviewing their album, the NME wrote: “‘Strange Timez’ is a varied affair that pulls from Albarn and the band’s perchance for exploration: punk rock sits effortlessly next to glitzy piano ballads, while playful hip-hop and melancholic post-rave ambience soothe our pounding heads. It’s a further reminder that while the post-genre mindset is now crucial to mainstream success, Gorillaz have always been ken to encourage emerging artists to embrace their diverse inspirations.”

Notable tracks from Song Machine include MLS, Aries and The Pink Phantom (featuring Elton John). The album is interesting in that it features many famous collaborators, such as Peter Hook, Beck, Slaves, GoldLink, St Vincent and others. 

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Gorillaz have also announced a wide range of other new collaborations such as their new Fred Perry clothing line coming soon. 

Get tickets and reserve your place at the band's 2021 tour HERE


May 24, 2021

Versace Mixes Up Blur and Blue For Fashion Show

If you have been a Blur fan for long enough, you'll understand the familiar problem: you search for "Blur" songs and out pops "Blue", another 90s boy band with several hit singles. We have certainly had this problem before, but this time one of the members of Blue has spoken up about just how often the two bands have been mixed up. 

Blue has recently admitted that they once "stole" Blur's golden tickets to the fashion show in Milan. Apparently, Blur was invited to fly via private jet to the esteemed fashion show and was invited to meet Donatella Versace personally. However, there was a huge mix-up which resulted in the band Blue getting chauffeured all the way to Milan- and back. 

Antony Costa from Blue has regaled a hilarious story about his band getting mixed up with Blur near 20 years ago. "In 2001 we released our first single ('All Rise'), it was going really well for us and we got invited to Milan Fashion Week by Donatella Versace.” Costa told Ben Hanlin's Ben Behaving Dadly podcast.

“So we got kitted out by Versace at Bond Street. We got a private plane out there, they flew us out there. We landed, went to the fashion show, and afterwards they were like 'Look, we want you to meet Donatella’.” 


He said: “So we lined up, like we were meeting the Queen, and she looked at us. I said to Simon (Webbe), 'This is a bit weird, we're supposed to be one of the guests. Why wouldn't she want to say hello?' "Anyway, to cut a long story short, when we get back to London, and she had invited Blur and not Blue."

Costa continued: "The mad thing was I meant Alex James years later and he was mucking about and was like 'Oi you. You took or tickets!' I was like 'Mate, I didn't know!'"


May 17, 2021

Would You Listen to AI-Generated Blur Music?

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In January of this year, the mental health charity, Over the Bridge, released an album called Lost Tapes of the 27 Club. As most music fans are aware, the 27 Club is that tragic group of legends – Hendrix, Cobain, Winehouse, Morrison – who died at that age, robbing the world of their mercurial talents. 

So, these lost tapes, what were they? Tracks that someone found in an attic? Reproduced songs that never made it to general release? Nope. Over the Bridge used AI (artificial intelligence) to make the tracks. It was, of course, a worthy cause for a mental health charity. But, boy, does it pose some questions for the music industry, including ethical ones. 

First, a quick overview of how it worked. Over the Bridge worked with Google’s Magenta AI. It fed the AI with samples of lyrics and music from the artists. After a while, the AI begins to learn the sound of the musicians and then produces its own versions. Producers selected the best tracks, and, hey presto, you have a new Nirvana song. 

Over the Bridge pulled off an impressive feat

You can find out more about the project here. But if we are to give our quick appraisal, it would be this: It’s impressive to hear an AI-generated song that really does sound like The Doors or Hendrix, but it is certainly not the finished article. However, you would be a fool to assume that they will not perfect this sooner rather than later. 

So, to the main question? Would you listen to an AI version of Blur? Say you really missed the Britpop, Parklife-era of Blur? Would you happily buy an AI-generated album to take you back to that cheeky and raw 90s sound of the band? For some, it might seem exciting. For others, it could be close to sacrilegious. 

But before dismissing it out of hand, it’s worth arguing that technology quickly changes our perceptions, even our ethics. In the 90s, the likes of Sean Parker (Napster) and the legendary gaming software developers like Microgaming were changing our perceptions of everything from music to gambling online. Later, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg were changing how we communicate. Today, we have the likes of Decentraland changing our perceptions of reality. 

Trends can change, and we might accept AI music

The point is that what is seen as unworkable now might seem different in 10 years’ time. Online dating used to be considered a niche thing, almost taboo, but it is so universal today that we almost forget how we felt about it a decade. Why not the same for AI-generated music?

There are, of course, many arguments that might be made. For instance, doesn’t the idea of AI regenerating artists’ music poses a problem for creativity? Bands like Blur and Radiohead, for example, are constantly pushing the boundaries, looking for a new sound. Damon Alburn moved on from Parklife, just as Thom Yorke moved on from The Bends. Most fans loved going on that journey of change with them. 

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Of course, it’s worth remembering that we are only at the beginning of this process. But you can bet that it is going to become an important debate. Similar to casting older actors with CGI (Samuel L. Jackson in Captain Marvel, for example), there is a debate over not what we gain, but what we might lose. What Over the Bridge did was interesting and impressive, but we should be wary of what comes next. 



May 15, 2021

Gorillaz x Fred Perry Clothing Line - Sneak Peek and Release Date

2021 has been a great time for e-commerce and lots of musicians have collaborated with big-name fashion brands to launch exclusive collections. This year, Gorillaz has hopped on the bandwagon. Gorillaz is collaboating with clothing brand Fred Perry to launch an exclusive collection which will be available from Thursday 20th May 2021 at 11am. 

Damon Albarn, the lead singer of Gorillaz, is rarely seen without his signature Fred Perry shirts. The iconic brand is known for their preppy polo shirts and bomber jackets, as well as quintessentially "British" looking apparel. The shop pioneered the 90's trend of high-necked polo shirts, muted colors and chic vibes. This time, the brand has partnered with Gorillaz to launch a collection inspired by the 4 characters of the virtual band. 

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The band was announced to be the new face of Fred Perry in April 2021. The new collection features bold prints, colorful polo shirts, stripey apparel, funky but retro designs and of course, their signature harrington jackets which are modelled by all four members of the band. The Fred Perry website also contains customised playlists that match the vibe of each of the clothing that the band members wore. 

Below are some of our favourites from the collection.

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Fans will be able to explore the full collection of clothing online via the band’s motorhome (its virtual and current HQ) from May 20 2021. 

If you are interested in purchasing any piece, register your interest on Fred Perry's main site HERE.  


May 11, 2021

Mid-Week Blur Mashup Vibes

It's Tuesday and here at Blurballs it's all about a bit of Blur nostalgia. We want to share a mashup that a Blur fan, Phil, created. It features an unlikely combination of tracks, but they actually fit surprisingly well together. 

On the track, Phil told us: "The credit goes to my 9 year old son for having the idea of the Doctor Who theme with Parklife and persuading me to create it. I admit, to start with I wasn’t convinced, but once I starting putting it together it all kind of fell in to place and then I added the Timelords / KLF samples to complete it. It was my follow up to the equally random – “Donald Where's Your Wellerman?” Nathan Evans / 220 KID x Billen Ted Remix - Wellerman v Andy Stewart - Donald Where's Your Troosers? Mashup which has been really popular". 

Give it a listen below! 

Doctorin' The Parklife 
  • Ron Grainer & Delia Derbyshire - Dr Who Theme v 
  • The Timelords / The KLF - Doctorin' The Tardis v 
  • Blur - Parklife


May 7, 2021

The Most Scandalous Damon Albarn Interview You'll Ever Read

Today we are taking a time machine and travelling back to 1994, where Damon Albarn gave a very scandalous and revealing interview to Loaded Magazine. The interview was re-published in 2015 to celebrate the magazine's anniversary. 

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Pork Life

Damon Albarn gives (probably) the best interview you’ll ever read – on bisexuality, cunnilingus and self-pleasure.

Bisexuality, shagging the queen, fancying Adam Ant, the wheelbarrow position, cunnilingus, losing his virginity, period sex – and eating live ladybirds.

Welcome to (probably) the best interview ever given by a musician, courtesy of Damon Albarn. The Blur frontman may have confessed last year to taking heroin.

These days it’s unlikely you’ll get Albarn, 47, to talk about much beyond his love of African music and his arthouse musicals such as Dr Dee and the recent Wonder.land.

Thankfully, things were different when the singer sat down with Loaded in September 1994 to be interviewed for the magazine’s fifth issue.

He was 26, it was just after Blur released Parklife, and Albarn didn’t give a toss about what he said.

Some of Albarn’s answers were obviously tongue-in-cheek. A lot of his interview was about sticking his tongue in cheeks. Some of his chat was about how he used to eat live ladybirds.

Here’s the sometimes startling interview reprinted for the first time – it will make you mourn the fact media training has killed such chats.

Loaded Were you artistic as a kid?

Damon Albarn I was more autistic than artistic. I was extremely slow in learning to walk and talk. My mum took me to the doctor and he said quite solemnly, ‘I wouldn’t expect too much from Damon’, like I was backward or something. I used to get away with murder though, as I had big blue eyes and a blonde fringe. I’d be wheeled around in this pram and grannies would queue up to tweak my cheeks and say nice things about me. Throughout my childhood, I felt a bit like the kid from The Tin Drum. Not that I was a psychotic midget, but I had this amazing clarity of perception about everything that was going on around me. I suppose that was the direct result of an alternative upbringing. My dad was an environmental sculptor. In our back garden in Leytonstone we had this 20-foot pea-pod made out of fibreglass. Things like that gave me a different perspective from most kids of my age.

L As a kid did you find yourself doing odd things like staring at wardrobes hoping you could will them to move?

Nah, I didn’t spend much of my time experimenting with wardrobes. The oddest thing I did was eat ladybirds, which I did up until the age of 12. It’s just something I started to do to get attention at a young age, and I suppose I developed a taste for them. I’d swallow handfuls of the things. I’d put them on my tongue and swallow them. But there was never any chewing.

L Who was the first pop star you wanted to shag?

D The first pop star I fancied was Adam Ant, but I wouldn’t have wanted to shag him. That was never on the table, or in the bed for that matter. I never went through that latent homosexual phase. I never even thought of sticking a carrot up my bottom or anything like that. I’ve always been more of an intellectual bisexual. I wouldn’t get a hard-on looking at another bloke, but I like the idea of bisexuality. It’s just that I’m not physically capable of coming up with the goods. I’ll say this though – I’m more homosexual than Brett Anderson. Always have been. As far as bisexuality goes, I’ve had a little taste of that particular fruit, or I have been tasted you might say. But I’ve never been able to get very excited about all that. When you get down to it, you can’t beat a good pair of tits.

L What about wanking?

D I was never that experimental when it came to wanking. I never went at it with raw liver or a loaf of bread with the middle gouged out. The only wanking anecdote I have is that there was this buzz at our school about bottles of Vosene. They reckoned that, if you cut the bottle in half and slipped it over the end of your dick while lying in the bath, the suction power would bring you off. If you had a particularly small dick, you’d cut the bottle at the top. If you were more generously endowed, you’d slice it off in the middle where it started to widen out. Sadly, it never did much for me. Though it did leave me slightly chafed.

L Were you a particularly enthusiastic masturbator?

D Not really. You’d get these kids who would beat themselves off seven or eight times a day. I couldn’t understand that. Never felt the need. I was never a Guinness Book Of Records candidate in that respect. As far as I’m concerned, that kind of over-activity is the sign of a vacant mind. People who wank seven times a day have got no more between their ears than Mrs Smith who lives next door with her cats.

L Who were your teenage heroes?

Herman Hesse, Terry Hall, Suggs, Marilyn Monroe, Jimmy Stewart – people like that. They were the closest I got to role models. I was never drawn to the depressed, tragic types. I liked The Smiths but I despised all Smiths fans. All my mates became vegetarians and started acting all moody and suicidal because of Morrissey. I thought that was pathetic – a load of bollocks. At that age, between 15 and 19, kids are very vulnerable. They’re leaving their family environment, finding their sexuality, trying to figure out what to do with their lives. They’re full of late-adolescent paranoia. So many bands like Joy Division, The Smiths, The Cure, Depeche Mode and Suede consciously play on that. I had those feelings of insecurity myself, but I was never going to sit in a room listening to fucking Morrissey or fucking Robert Smith or fucking Brett fucking Anderson. It’s all a big con to me. It’s selling the audience short in the worst way imaginable. That’s why I can understand kids who are into rave music these days. They can dress up and go to clubs. They’re attractive and the dancing is very sexual. The whole attitude is very positive. It’s all so much healthier than stuff like The Cure and bands like that who I regard as a malignancy. Thank god kids these days have got someone like me to look up to.

L Were you always successful with girls?

D I must admit that I always found it incredibly easy to get off with girls. When you’re a teenager, picking up girls is a bit like getting run over by a large vehicle. You see a juggernaut approaching and you have to know when to throw yourself under it. I always seemed to know when to throw myself on the floor and get what I wanted. I always seemed to attract older girls. I was into drama and music. I used to walk around with a volume of Karl Marx under my arm. This seemed to set me apart from the Dennis Wise types that populated the Essex area where I lived. I must have seemed sophisticated, and most of the older girls saw me as this kind of romantic Byron figure. And, consequently, wanted to shag my brains out. I had few complaints about that, obviously.

L How did you lose your cherry?

D I lost it at the age of 15 in a semi-detached house at the back of my school in Stanway, Essex, to a 17-year-old girl called Jane, who was the daughter of a district nurse. I’d been going out with her for four months and, because she was the oldest, she called the shots and decided the time was right. We lay down on a very clean bed, did the business, and then I walked home and had a nice cup of tea and a fancy bun. These days, I could write a thousand songs about an experience like that. I just didn’t have any perspective on it then. I just remember walking out of her house, rubbing my hands and thinking, ‘Well, I’ve done it at last!’ The earth didn’t move. I was just relieved I didn’t fuck a virgin.

L Any other memorable sexual experiences?

D Nipping over the garden fence after a maths lesson, drinking a bottle of Baileys and having a good shag. You can’t beat a bit of sex when you’re supposed to be doing double physics. There’s a touch of anarchy about that.

L How did you feel when girls first wanted to shag you because you were famous?

D It helped a lot that I was at ease with my sexuality before I became famous. So I was never like a child let loose in a candy store. A lot of pop stars who are sexually inexperienced tend to get a bit fucked up when the whole groupie thing starts. My message to Loaded readers is to get it all out of your system before you even think about settling down and having a few kids. I’ve sown a fair few wild oats in my time and I feel all the better for it. But I wouldn’t think about settling down until I was completely spent. It quickly becomes blatantly obvious that a girl only wants you because you’re famous. It becomes the easiest thing in the world, but the sex is shit. And it does fuck all for the ego. The sex doesn’t become devalued as such, but it doesn’t give you the sense of well-being that you need. The problem is that, as soon as you become well known, you have this illusion that you’re irresistible to women. It’s a bit like walking down the street really fast and forgetting that you’re wearing roller skates – which puts you at an unfair advantage.

L How would you define the sexuality of Blur?

D The good thing about Blur is that we don’t make a virtue of the fact that we’re quite sexy. Mick Jagger is considered sexy because he announced the fact that he was sexy. I find all that quite amusing. Madonna’s the best example of that type of thing. We’re talking about a woman with miserable skin who’s considered to be the world’s greatest sex symbol. She’s living proof of the fact that there’s nothing less sexy than sex, especially when it’s being waved in your face 24 hours a day. What she does with her sexuality is like the equivalent of Super Mario Bros. It’s all a massive overstatement. I’d like to think Blur are much more subtle.

L Cunnilingus. Is it all it’s cracked up to be?

D I’m quite ambivalent about cunnilingus, though I can see that it’s an important arrow in any man’s quiver. I think its appeal has a lot to do with how many drinks you’ve had and whether a woman has washed down there recently. If you’ve had a skinful, it doesn’t matter so much that she hasn’t been near the bath of late. But I’m no expert on the subject. I mean, I don’t need a diagram to show me where the clitoris is, but I’m quite a long way from mastering the art of going down. I reckon a 65-year-old pensioner is always going to be far better at it than someone of my age. It’s a case of practice makes perfect.

L How about going down on a lass when she’s got the painters and decorators in?

D I think it largely depends on how much you’re into giving pleasure to someone else. It also depends on how heavy the flow is. If we’re talking Niagara Falls, you might want to explore other possibilities for the time being. There are advantages though to that time of the month. For a start, a woman’s tits are biggest when she’s having a period, so you might fancy concentrating on them for a bit.

L Favourite sexual positions?

D
 I’m up for anything, basically. The classic wheelbarrow position is always a good one to fall back on. My own particular favourite is the ‘French Maid’ position, which, for the benefit of the uninitiated, involves a fair bit of bending down and picking up imaginary feather dusters. You can’t go wrong with the French Maid in my opinion.

L Describe the kind of women who give you the horn.

D As far as celebrities go, there’s Nanette Newman who’s always worked wonders for me. Also Neneh Cherry – I think she’s very nice. I like Caribbean girls, Indian girls, African girls and Mediterranean girls. I don’t like Orientals at all. Well, I like them, but I never fancy them. I’m not a legs man or a tits man. I think that’s a terribly restrictive way of looking at a woman’s body. That’s what porn does to you. A lot of blokes have this perspective on a woman’s body which has been learned from the camera angles in porn films – the way a woman’s body is panned over and lingered on. Personally, I prefer the whole package. Porn films have never done much for me and I’ve never had much time for things like Carry On Up The Khyber. I never found the women in Carry On films remotely attractive, even Barbara Windsor. They were always too Anglo-Saxon and plump-thighed for my liking. I prefer to watch Spanish films like Golden Balls that take their time over things. If they’re going to focus on a penis or breast, they don’t rush it. That always seems more effective somehow.

L Given the chance, would you give the Queen a good seeing to?

D I have to admit that I quite fancied the young Elizabeth Regina. I’d have been happy to have given her one when she first came to the throne. Not just because she was the Queen. I just thought she was very sexy. The same goes for that Princess Margaret who seemed like a bit of a goer. They’ve both lost it a bit recently though. I don’t honestly think I’d be too tempted these days. And would I shag Prince Philip? Nah, he’s a Greek isn’t he?

L Tell us what sorts of things move you to tears.

D Stars In Their Eyes always makes me weep. Also things like Good Fortune with David Frost. That really chokes me up. Jackie Collins and Jilly Cooper films always have me in floods. See, I love crass emotion. It does me in every time and brings out these previously unknown sentiments in me. One of the most profoundly moving experiences of my entire life was watching the last scene in Planet Of The Apes when he sees the top of the Statue of Liberty. I practically had to be stretchered off after watching that.

L What do you hate with a passion?

D I don’t feel anything with a passion. I’m not a very passionate bloke. I can’t bring myself to actually believe in passion. But there are things I hate. I hate bands like Gun. I hate people who do cover versions, get to No 1 and have the audacity to go on Top Of The Pops and act like they wrote the bloody song. I’d hate a lot of showbiz types but I’m far too showbizzy myself so I can appreciate all that stuff on a kitschy level. I hate Dick Francis books but I’d probably love the film adaptations ’cos there’d be all these sexy birds running about in jodhpurs, and you can’t go far wrong with jodhpurs in my opinion. Oh, I also hate Manchester United, Arsenal, Tottenham and anyone who’s not a Chelsea fan, except QPR fans, because they’re too inoffensive to get worked up about.

L What difference has being in Blur made to your life?

D Until Blur came along, I didn’t have a context. I was into all the wrong things. I was into Karl Marx, Bertolt Brecht and Erik Satie when cool kids were getting into The Jam and J. D. Salinger. But I’m quite grateful for the fact that I kind of did things the wrong way round. I never went to football when I was a kid. Now I’m an official Chelsea fan who gets interviewed by 90 Minutes and Shoot. A lot of kids start out with those things and get into art and literature later. But I started out reading Nabokov and now I’m into football, dog racing and Essex girls.



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